Who am I...Really who

I really wonder why I am here. I have not left any mark any where at best as I have been called..just another aids riddled faggot, or like tonight, a FUCKING Redneck. I acualy responded to that with" better a Redneck than an opioniated ass like yourself. One of the first derogatory comment in a while I took as a compliment. I am proud of the fact I am a simple person and enjoy simple life. I am still just a soul here till I die. Nothng special or remarkable. Here I sit after 7 years and think mabye I am really alone after all. I thought I had a life, no who knows. Phone call again says he cares and loves me, actions one day also the next day another. Damn it was easier being alone. I do have on true regret though from the past years. Not telling a very xpecial man how I felt, and what "I" wanted. If I had who knows were I might be now. But that is aroad I did not follow because I was worried for him to make sure he did better than someone like me. Now I sit back and look and say yeah, he did better, but I still regret not tellin him how I felt and how much beyound love I feel for him. WHo knows mabye in the next world or life if I have to come back here I will get it right. IN this life I am ment for other thngs and can only pray I am doing the job I  ma supposed to, and doing it well. I long to be touched, not sex, but held and hugged, and caressed kindly. I miss that and need it so much. I have become more onto myself lately as the lone WOlf in me returns to protect me. I need him by my side to keep me sane. I also know why I fel better around animals that humans, they get me, and i them. Damn I feel so I don't know lonely in acrowded room. Shit, I just want to be loved for who I am. SOmetimes this world sucks. If not for those special few I would have checked out of this hotel a long time ago(LIFE,,,,, no one gets out alive)