I again am LOST. A strange thing has been taking place and I have know idea the outcome. I know what should be. The question is can it be? Latley the word engima has begun to be the best descriptor of who and what I am. The weekend coming wil be valuable to this resolution in persona. The swamps, marshes,and the slow meandering river, will be a good place to lose myself and ponder this needing That has begun to consumemy very thought. I need to let the diffrent sides of me finally come together and just fight it out in the most primal setting I can find. Except for the avodiance of the occasional Aligator so prevelent this time of year, it should happen. The Wolf MUST win, but only  can can make it happen.

Another day for the books

Good Day Yesterday. I went to Plains Georgia, and had Sunday school with a former President. I really enjoyed this quite a bit. It was something unique and just a little out if the everyday. This makes 5 presidents I have met and talked with. Nothing special but does give me a small peice of history to all my own. That is all life is to each person, a collection of pieces that make their history uniquly theirs'. Gotta love that. BUSY week ahead and again I welcome it. Better than how it was not being able to walk, speak well or eat solid food. So bring on a busy week.

On the road as the moon goes full

Well I again find myself where I am most at home feeling this way. On the Road. I have been always drawn to things in travel. Flying, Trains, and of course Trucks, busses. They have givin me the chance to see the best and worst of the world. The best has always been this country. USA is so beautiful and so big. I love driving through her and seeing all the natural beauty she has. God has so blessed this land. KNowing that I am terminal,has filled me wiht new appritiation of her and the beauty of life in general. I also asie from having made peace with the almighty, I am at peace with those who have done me wrong. I am a better person for having these people challange me, for I am still here. Even the person who gave the virus to me, has long been gone. I am here. Live life. it is to short.

WEll! about time

Well to all those who said I really never had a reason to smile since I had AIDS.EAT THIS YOU BASTARDS!! Things are almost normal with my my life. Yea, I still have shots to take and pills but only twice a day. I am working at what  I do best, and what I love. DRIVING. I am a damn good one. This rant came about because of a conversation with old friends who think that because I am sick I need to stay home and be senseable. Translation, stay home and get ready to die. I WILL NOT! I am still living and I intend to until my heart stops beating ad I can no longer breath on my own. I no longer fear death. I donot welcome it, but I do not fear it. This is why I am on the road, because life is ment to be lived, not to excist through. I intented to drive,Camp,(both kinds Bruc) and just love life and my husband. Thing will always be tough in life. God said it would be worth it he never said it would be easy. I hope .check that. know there is something better on the other side. I can feel those that will be there with me from this life. I ay preced them but I will be there for them. I know this to be true. The certainty comes from laying in a bed 9 months ago feeling my body getting ready to shut off. I began to get visits from freinds and family, even Sebastian, my Basset. They came to tell me it would be OK. NOt that I was going to die, but it would get better. I do not know when it will happen but I know I will be met by family and Friends. Live my friends, LIVE. It is worth it.