This day of contemplation has been difficult. So much more so because of the date. Eight years ago we got hit hard. September 11th, 2001, a date that needs no explanation. Tom called in the early afternoon to inform me of the latest news from home and stuff. His final tid bit was that his legs have finally quit working. Knowing this was coming was one thing, having it here is another. He thinks that maybe he can get use one in a while but it is coming to an end. This leads to so many thoughts. One I will not write here yet. As known, this happened of course away from home and the caretaker is there. I just wish I knew what to do for him and in a selfish way..me

So long and I hope Never again

Once again life comes knocking on my door. Tom is doing really bad these days. Since the Heart attacks last Fall, his mental state has gotten worse and I am but a caregiver, not his mate. Normally it would be just a matter of Dealing and going on with life. People in my life however as always show me what is missing and what is to be lost. R.J. !!!!! What an amazing presence. We met and for what was expected, something else entirely happened. Jay has been my guide and mentor through the changes in Tom and I could not do it with out him. I proudly wear his gift to me. Hopefully, he will be proud of me as well. Was not for them I would be lost and trying desperately to find out who this body really belongs to. The Wolf of the Caregiver. Honor and Values fill both. The need to be with a pack that is true to those values is the purview of the Wolf alone. He needs to end the solitary path and join a pack of his own. Strange how so many have told me to just leave. R.J. and Jay, have been supportive of me and what needs to be done. Both keep me going and my spirits from crashing to the bottom. Would not know what to do if I did not have my owner and my Sir.