I am spent, done and alone

I am truly running alone again . The Wolf has risen to accept that. The one thing that has come out of the past few days, is well....One truth. I have had two souls cross the road I walk. These Souls on sight created a bond like no other every experianced before. One is no longer  walking on this world. AIDS took him. The other I am ashamed I never told how I truley felt. That is one mistake I will correct face to face.

Where we do we go from here

Well really, where do I go from here. I am running in Circles playing by the rules. Maybe I should just say "screw it" and play the same way people around me do. I would probely go a hell of a lot further that I am now. I try to be good to other, care, help when I can. What comes back to me.....CRAP, use and abuse of my nature, and a partner screwing everyone but me. Unable to get to the few that actually care. Real people who know me and are so much a part of that they know more that blood. The urge to run again has resurfaced. Powerful more than any other time it has come around. The urge to Just drop off the "grid" and go wherever the road goes or the trail. That is How I wound up in Tennessee for 6 months. This time it may be for good. The good in the world is NOT Humans in General, in fact I am surprised that GOD has not hurled this spinning excuse of a planet into the Sun yet. The Dogs, the wildlife that seems to follow me in the woods. Has happened so often lately. Fox. Coyote, even a beautiful Hawk that stayed by camp for the days I was there. Idaho has always held a particular place in my heart. Especially near the Bitterroot Mountains. Plenty of places there to go and be. Then there is the "other" option a friend has recommend. I would live a new life. The old one gone and forgotten.  Just being so set in my core beliefs, I do not know if I could just walk away from another life and start over again.