My Guide

My Guide
I follow thier ways

Saturday, December 17, 2005

BEtter looking today

Well at least I slept well last night. So to speak.With so much on my mind it is getting harder to sleep through the night. My partner has been going crazy as well. I think he is worried I will start acting like I did over the past YEar. The illness caused a distinct personality change. Really worried him and my friends. At one point I was actually considering suicide. Me of all things to think of. I am remembering more of what happened during that time, and I am so embarrassed to think this was going on. It is just not ME!

Well today We go shopping for gifts and such for our "family" here in town. They are called family because of how close we have all gotten to each other over the years. I owe them so much. From sticking with me through the worst of this disease, and just being there for me. I have that so rare in my life. We are the ones who always seem to get leaned on, and we ourselves have no where to go for a little help. That is why my Family here is so important to me.

    I have family up north(blood kind)but, they all have there own lives 1500 miles from here. I do not regret being that far away. A long time has gone by(16 Years) were I was alone. One Aunt though has always been there for me. Thanks Aunt Anita. Maybe someday the light at the end of the tunnel will not be a train next time. Yea right! Well time to get my crap together for the day. I am hosting Christmas here for my partners family and  the "misfits" that we call friends. I mean that with love and kindness. They. Like myself, have no family to go to or place to go. THey do with me here..always.

 

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