Lfe moves as it will

Life has a way of reminding you how small you are,as well as how powerful you can be in this world. Once again I found myself in the position of a paid Vacation. The group went to Montreat North Carolina. As usual because of limited space for a large veichle, I stayed in Black Mountain about 3 miles away. With that kind of time, boredom can take over. Well that is where thanks to a special friend comes in. He reminded me about the power of life around me and the gifts that make us special.  So I trekked out into the woods. The trails around there are incredible. The Beauty is like no other place on earth. Shortly after I was able to hook up with a friend I know and we went back to his house to catch up. His place is on the river, and is a nice little retreat. While sitting on the bank, it happened again. The reminder of who I am. My name is no accident. Wolf fits and is a name that I grew with. Now it is the only name I respond to. While sitting there, a Fox came out of the woods on the opposite side and came down to the water. Such a beautiful member of the canine species. Kindred to the Wolf. It looked up as it realized that we where there. After looking straight into my eyes it, I felt as though we talked. He went back to a drink, and stayed there for a bit. When he had his fill, looked my way again, then trotted of in no particular hurry into the woods. Shortly there after, while walking the river Bank, It happened again. It was at that point my friend asked,"What is it with you and Animals?" Valid question for the event. That was the reminder of why I go to places like that. I have always been drawn to animals, not humans. In fact I fear humans. Strange thing to say but ,it is who I am.   Thus began an interesting few days. After these encounters, the path had been set for an interesting trip. What followed was spiritual.    While chatting with a friend on-line, we grew closer than I thought possible. I learned weshare so much. He will be on the road for a while so I will not be able to talk to him for about a week. That is OK because I carry him in my heart.  A special Soul with a marvelous heart, also got closer to me. VERY close. The reason I feel that it was needed at this timeis for what came later.  The 16th was 6 years since the ceremony that made me Tom's.  Resent events however, have led to the leash getting loose. Very loose.   I got in from Black Mountain,unloaded the coach,picked up Tom and the Dogs and left for the Camp. Being our anniversary, I wanted it to be special. Instead I felt like the leash had broken free. I hope that I am wrong.The events of the previous week have said otherwise. The Fox, alone in the woods at the river. My friends commenting on the Solitary nature of my life. Then this. I felt alone in my own bed with him. Am I crazy or is a change coming. Who knows. This much is certain. THe only reason I come back to Tallahassee, is him and the dogs. Mostly him because the dogs can travel with me.  Should the leash have truly been let go then where does that leave a wanderer. A Gypsy that in the back of the soul needs a grounding point. I have been lost on the road before. BIG DEAL. Lately I have been needing , what I do not know. However, the spirit in me knows this. The Wolf MUST be part of a pack. It is our nature. We can exist as a lone soul wandering,but we find ourselves lacking. There is one soul out there I must meet. I hope soon. Although we chat often and it always does me well to see him on-line. I need to feel his presence to know him as I should. Someday it will happen.    I am heading back to the woods I hope tomorrow if work is as slow as they think it is going to be. There will be no one there and I can have the dogs with me loose and naked in the woods. Freeing my mind in the sounds and smells of the deep woods, feeling and knowing that answers I seek will come if I Listen well. So here is to those answers. I am lost and need to know where to go. This Wolf is tired of being used so much. When I need, no one is there, not even Tom.