Well the New Year has arrived and I hope for the best even though I may finish it alone. Tom's Health has dramatically worsen. Since the Heart Attacks, he was unable to work. No big deal I did as always and took on more weigh so to speak. The given up the Trucking job was real hard. The Company was great to me, knew I was Gay and dealt with it well. Not bad for a Company from Cairo ( Ka-Ro) Georgia. The miles were great and the Truck the best besides my Century Class ST. I still miss her.
Jake and Fozz-E-Bear are getting older and have given up being on the road. Jake I understand. February will be 13 Years I have had him. That makes him about 14 or 15. He was almost and Adult when I got him. Rescue of course. Fozz will be 10 this August.
Tom as mentioned has been not doing well. The list is now up to and including, Congestive Heart Failure, COPD, and a Neurological Disorder that WILL kill him when it hits the spine. Thie name is huge and common in long term Survivors of AIDS/HIV. This Christmas I hosted 14 People for Christmas. Small house and crowded to be sure but the odds are Tom had his last Holiday with Family. That is who was here. The brothers Sisters and there mates, as well as some Children. It was a lot of work but I had a great time. The 3 Days ALL were here reminded me of growing up and the controlled chaos of the Holidays. Got a whole lot of new respect for Mom as well. How she did this every Year for 30 Years I will never know.
Hospice is being good to Tom, however he is making it hard on all. He is showing early signs of Dementia, has been pushing Carl (care taker) and myself away so hard. He even told one Brother he was Single again. I long ago accepted this day was coming. As it gets closer I feel numb. Day to Day is the existence that grats me each morning. I go through the day go to bed and repeat. Tom is all focus outside of my regular Job driving Motor Coaches. In fact work is a release for me. So may say they admire what I am doing and ask how. I tell the truth, There but for the Grace of God go I. That simple. Tom sleeps all the time now. Is on oxygen almost all day. Confined to a Wheelchair now for good.
One day I would like to be able to plan for the future again. Soon maybe
Bless you, what an ordeal you are going through. I know from taking care of my mom all those years how hard it is to hold everything together. And sometimes you feel like throwing up your hands and walking away . . . but you can't, you know you have to finish the job, do the right thing regardless of the cost. And there is a cost, that other people with lighter burdens don't know anything about.
ReplyDeleteHere's wishing you comfort and peace of mind in the new year.